Helping Families Navigate the Financial Challenges of Age Transitions

Tag: dementia

Negotiation Techniques for Adult Children of Aging Parents

In an insightful article published on KFFhealthnews.org by Judith Graham, titled “Negotiate with Resistant Aging Parents: Applying Business Strategies,” researchers at Northwestern University explore the application of negotiation and dispute resolution techniques from the business world to defuse conflicts arising from caregiving and financial decisions involving elderly parents. As we strive to provide the best care for our aging loved ones, this article sheds light on strategies to navigate complex situations while respecting their autonomy and dignity. The article delves into a training curriculum designed to help professionals and family caregivers approach caregiving as a collaborative effort and offers valuable insights for fostering productive conversations.

Reaching an impasse with aging parents in their late 80s who resist the idea of receiving home assistance can be frustrating. Negotiation and dispute resolution techniques commonly employed in the business world have shown potential for resolving such conflicts, according to a group of researchers at Northwestern University.

The team has developed a specialized training program focused on negotiation and dispute resolution. Aimed at social workers, care managers, and healthcare professionals working with resistant older adults, this curriculum encourages professionals to engage in collaborative caregiving approaches that honor the individual’s preferences, rather than imposing decisions.

Lee Lindquist, the chief of geriatrics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, who leads this initiative, highlighted the prevalence of conflicts among older individuals and emphasized the program’s goal to de-escalate such situations, ensuring older adults receive the necessary support while maintaining their dignity.

A significant component of this project is the development of a computer-based training program for family caregivers dealing with mild cognitive impairment or early-stage dementia in their loved ones. Dubbed “NegotiAge,” this program employs avatars of older adults to simulate negotiation scenarios. Through practice, caregivers can refine their negotiation skills and techniques.

This project, funded by the National Institutes of Health with nearly $4 million, strives to make NegotiAge widely accessible after evaluating its effectiveness.

For family caregivers seeking to navigate conflicts with aging parents, the article outlines several proactive steps:

1. Prepare: Before entering negotiations, thorough preparation is vital. Jeanne Brett, a member of the NegotiAge team, suggests addressing fundamental questions, identifying issues, involved parties, their positions, motivations, and potential consequences if an agreement is not reached. Document your goals for the upcoming conversations.

2. Identify Common Interests: Finding common ground among the parties involved is key. Emphasize shared goals and interests, such as maintaining the older adult’s independence, safety, and social connections.

3. Ask Questions: Avoid making assumptions about the reasons behind a parent’s stance. Engage in open-ended discussions to understand their perspective. Show empathy and genuine concern.

4. Brainstorm Strategies: Emotions can run high during negotiations, particularly within family dynamics. Shift focus from conflicts to collaborative problem-solving. Encourage creative thinking and explore multiple potential solutions.

5. Third-Party Involvement: If resolution remains elusive, consider involving a neutral third party, like a mediator or healthcare professional. External input can provide a fresh perspective and facilitate productive discussions.

Applying these strategies can lead to more effective communication, allowing families to navigate challenging decisions while preserving relationships and respecting the autonomy and dignity of aging parents. As the Northwestern University research advances, caregivers and professionals alike stand to benefit from enhanced tools and approaches to address the complexities of eldercare.

To read the full article by Judith Graham on KFFhealthnews.org, visit: Negotiate with Resistant Aging Parents: Applying Business Strategies.

Alzheimer’s Researchers Study a Rare Brain – The New York Times

Aliria Rosa Piedrahita de Villegas carried a rare genetic mutation that had all but guaranteed she would develop Alzheimer’s disease in her 40s. But only at age 72 did she experience the first symptoms of it.

Now researchers are studying Aliria’s donated brain to try and unlock the genetic secrets that may have delayed the disease’s onset.

Source: Alzheimer’s Researchers Study a Rare Brain – The New York Times

Are your aging parents prone to hiding cash around the house? Be aware of the pitfalls.

Texas Attorney Virginia Hammerle writes about the dangers of leaving cash hidden around the house or elsewhere as inheritances to be discovered after the owner’s death.

Your cash may never be found. Your house and/or its contents could burn up, get sold in an estate sale or be blown apart by a tornado. The dog could eat it. It could turn into a block of moldy and unrecognizable paper.

When you are doing your estate planning, do not forget to make a plan for distributing your cash. Here’s why you should have a plan in place.

Source: Dash for Cash – Informal Funding of Inheritance Has Hidden Dangers

The Financial Impact of Dementia

In the video below, Robert Powell, editor of The Street’s Retirement Daily, and Angie O’Leary, head of wealth management with RBC Wealth Management, talked about the need to plan ahead for the possibility of dementia and the type of plans to put in place.

According to O’Leary, the plan should include having key legal documents – a power of attorney, healthcare directive, and will – in place as well as having assets properly titled and beneficiary designations current. Consider too, she said, the benefits of a trust and professional executor services, as well as supplemental insurance, including long-term care options.

O’Leary also noted the need to understand early warning signs and, after a diagnosis, acting swiftly to protect the family from financial missteps, abuse and liability.

 

Having a plan is essential, and key legal documents—a power of attorney, healthcare directive, and will—should be in place.

Source: The Financial Impact of Dementia – TheStreet

If you are struggling through the financial transitions of aging, Wealth and Honor is here to provide you with resources to help you and your family through it.

Sweethearts Forever. Then came Alzheimer’s and a tragic ending to their love story.

It’s a suitable Valentine story that is as saccharine sweet as it is painfully tragic. Richard and Alma Shaver were childhood friends and high school sweethearts who eloped at eighteen. They were described as soulmates who were madly in love with one another. Richard became an engineer, they raised three daughters, Alma led Girl Scout troops and became the go-to person in the neighborhood for emergency contact.

The symbol for Alzheimer’s

A few years back, Alma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and the silent thief lay siege to Alma’s mind. She went from forgetting recently completed tasks to not recognizing her children, and ultimately not recognizing Richard. It was more than he could take.

On a warm day last June, while Alma was sleeping, Richard went upstairs to their bedroom and shot his beloved wife dead. Then he lay down beside her and shot himself.

It was not the ending that his family had hoped for, but they console themselves that they are not having to endure a murder trial. They held a memorial service and celebrated the happier lives that they had known with their parents. Perhaps this family’s tragedy and other less-tragic but equally painful deaths caused by this disease will lead to more open discussions on death with dignity laws.

On this day for lovers, embrace your partner, and tell him or her that you will be there for them if they are visited by the silent thief, but that you will not participate in a tragic end to their life or yours. It only perpetuates the pain for those we may leave behind.


Source

Nytimes.com. (2020). Sweethearts Forever. Then Came Alzheimer’s, Murder and Suicide.. [online] Available at: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/29/nyregion/alzheimers-murder-suicide.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share.

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