Wealth and Honor

Helping Families Navigate the Financial Challenges of Age Transitions

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Adopt a Code of Honor when caring for an aging loved one.

August 9, 2022 /

I am fortunate that both my mom (93) and mother-in-law (86) are still living and doing quite well. As I have visited with them and their close friends, there is a tremendous amount of wit and wisdom to glean from these encounters. Unfortunately, one of the things I have also witnessed in our culture is a loss or lack of honor towards those who have lived more years than most. I would like to challenge myself and the reader to make a resolution for 2022 to honor our older citizens – especially our parents. What does it mean to honor an older person? Often hearing a familiar principle from a different cultural context can clarify its meaning. In recent years, I’ve attempted to learn more about the ancient philosophies of Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism. These belief systems share many core principles with the Judeo-Christian ethics and scriptures that are more familiar to us Westerners than these less represented traditions.

Take the concept of Filial Piety, one of the eight virtues of Confucianism. Scholars attribute the Eight Virtues to a line in the Sage Emperor Guan’s Book of Enlightenment, saying

“It is through Filial Piety, Sibling Harmony, Dedication, Trustworthiness, Propriety, Sacrifice, Honor, and Sense of Shame that we become fully human.” 

Filial Piety means to be good to one’s parents; to take care of one’s parents; to engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to one’s parents and ancestors. The Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism further expounds on the concept of filial piety by stating,

“You should also attend to your parents’ well-being. There are three basic needs you must provide for your parents. First, you should provide for their food and clothing. Second, when they are ill, you must take responsibility for nursing them back to health. Third, when they die, you must provide them with proper burial and care for their graves. As a son or daughter, whether you are rich or poor, whatever profession you are engaged in, whether you are married or not, whether you have children or not, if you can perform these three deeds with sincerity and dedication, your parents will be happy while they are alive and rest in peace when they are deceased. Your parents cared for you without selfish interests. Your mother carried you in her womb for ten lunar months and nursed you for three years. Your parents constantly tended to your needs while you were growing up. You should show your gratitude to them by fulfilling the virtue of filial piety.

For we Westerners, the concept of Filial Piety is rooted in both the Old and New Testament scriptures. Exodus 20:12 commands,

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (New International Version). Ephesians 6:2-3 repeats the same command and adds parenthetically “which is the only command with a promise.”

When parents age to the point where they lose independence or capacity to perform certain functions of daily living, families should adopt and adhere to a personal code of honor that maintains the dignity that the older person deserves. In a curriculum developed to teach adult children how to be effective financial caregivers, I provide a model code of honor that is available for download here.

Social Isolation Affects Heart Health, Cognition

August 8, 2022 /

Two new studies show the effects that social isolation and loneliness can have on cardiovascular health and cognitive decline.

The two studies provided several compelling links between social engagement and mental or physiological health. Some of the findings include:

  • Social isolation and loneliness are common but are under-recognized as contributing to cardiovascular and brain health.
  • The lack of social connection is associated with an increased risk of premature death from all causes, especially among men.
  • People who experience social isolation or loneliness are more likely to experience chronic stress and depression. Depression can also lead to social isolation.

Source: Social Isolation Affects Heart Health, Cognition

April 23, 2021 /

Britney Spears has been under a California-ordered conservatorship since 2013, and in recent years has tried unsuccessfully to have her father, Jamie Spears, removed. Attorneys for Jaime Spears have maintained that he “has always acted in the best interests of his daughter.”

Conservatorships are court-ordered arrangements presumably designed to protect those who cannot manage their own affairs due to some physical or mental limitation. Each state has its own rules for conservatorships and courts may appoint anyone it chooses to be in charge of someone’s property.

A spotlight on Britney Spears’ conservatorship has led lawmakers in one state to consider changes, but some say focusing on the pop star could overlook the needs of those with disabilities.

 

Source: #FreeBritney Movement Prompts Lawmakers To Consider Changing Conservatorship Rules – Disability Scoop

Suspension imposed after appeals judge is accused of making himself a beneficiary of ex-client’s will

January 15, 2021 /

The Georgia Supreme Court has suspended a state appeals judge with pay during an ethics investigation.

The court suspended the judge, Christian Coomer, on Wednesday, Law360 reports.Coomer is accused of making himself a beneficiary and his wife the executor when drafting wills for a then-client, according to Law.com, Law360 and the Daily Tribune News.

Coomer is also accused of drafting an irrevocable living trust for the client that designated Coomer as the trustee and beneficiary, with the power to transfer funds to himself while the client was still alive, according to the Dec. 28 charges by the Georgia Judicial Qualifications Commission.

Source: Suspension imposed after appeals judge is accused of making himself a beneficiary of ex-client’s will

Covid Spurs Families to Shun Nursing Homes, a Shift That Appears Long Lasting – WSJ

January 4, 2021 /

Has COVID affected how you feel about nursing homes? Even if a loved one hasn’t become ill, many families have been unable to even visit their elderly relatives, which was especially difficult over the holiday season. This Wall Street Journal article discusses how COVID is causing many to consider other options.

The pandemic is reshaping the way Americans care for their elderly, leading more families to decide to avoid professionally run facilities as services expand to support in-home care.

Source: Covid Spurs Families to Shun Nursing Homes, a Shift That Appears Long Lasting – WSJ

What Seniors Can Expect When COVID Vaccines Begin to Roll Out | Kaiser Health News

December 18, 2020 /

Seniors in nursing homes and assisted living centers will be among the first Americans vaccinated, following recommendations last week by a federal advisory panel. Older adults living at home will need to wait a while longer.Many uncertainties remain. Among them: What side effects can older adults anticipate and how often will these occur? Will the vaccines offer meaningful protection to seniors who are frail or have multiple chronic illnesses?Here’s a look at what’s known, what’s not and what lies ahead.

Source: What Seniors Can Expect When COVID Vaccines Begin to Roll Out | Kaiser Health News

How Covid-19 Will Change Aging and Retirement – WSJ

December 16, 2020 /

As the pandemic wreaks havoc on our mental and physical health, it is also quietly reshaping how Americans will face retirement and old age in the years to come.The virus is bringing sweeping change, mainly by “accelerating developments already under way,” says physician and entrepreneur Bill Thomas. For example, “isolation of older people has long been a problem, but Covid is focusing attention on the issue and adding urgency” to address it.

In this Wall Street Journal Article, writer Anne Tergesen reports on some of the effects that the COVID virus could have on aging and society. Among her findings:

  1. More will age at home.
  2. Older people will benefit from a technology boom.
  3. Lifespans will decline. (Though perhaps only for the short term)
  4. We will have a better handle on what we want to do with our time.
  5. We will plan for death.
  6. We will embrace healthier lifestyles.
  7. We need to save more to retire.
  8. The 401(k) will morph into a multipurpose account.
  9. We will work longer.
  10. Our views on aging will change.

Source: How Covid-19 Will Change Aging and Retirement – WSJ

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